Oh Olympics, How We’ve Missed You!

The Winter Olympics are here, and boy, have we missed them!! We need the distraction these days. From what? Oh, how about a distraction from water cooler talk of things like The Wall, or DACA? Or how about that military parade the POTUS is planning? You know, the bazillion dollar parade in the works that no one wants but Him? Well, they’re back, and they’re off to a great start giving us stuff to talk about that doesn’t involve money or war or Kim Jong Un.

Which Came First?

We were off to a great start in the realms of Stuff To Talk About early last week when Norway ordered breakfast for the entire world apparently. An error in ordering had 15,000 eggs delivered for the team instead of the intended 1,500. Now, I’m no chef, but that’s a lot of omelets. Last I saw, there was no way to return the unwanted eggs, so they were going to try their best to use them. Menu sample for Team Norway: Breakfast: Eggs benedict or omelets. Lunch: Quiche. Supper: Frittata. All eggs, all the time. It may be my favorite winter sport of all time, Figuring Out What To Do With All Of These Damn Eggs. Gold medal to Norway!

Yay Sports! Do the Thing, Win the Points!

Admittedly, I’m not much of a sports fan, you won’t find me at a football game or watching any sort of sport that involves a ball, but I do love the Olympics. There’s something about watching a bunch of people try to get a flat stone across the ice using nothing but push brooms. What the actual heck is Curling anyway?! Who thought of this? Seriously. What ancient sport is this from and why? It makes absolutely zero sense, but….. I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT!! I’m addicted to curling. I’m actually considering teaching my kids how to play. We can start in the kitchen. I’m adding bonus points if they can get all of the dirt on the floor into the dustpan that I’m going to place in the goal box.

Other Aspects of the Olympics

Next, skating. We’ve got figure skating, short track speed skating and long track speed skating. Now, the only kind of ice skating I’ve ever done was as a kid. A neighbor gave us a box of mismatched old ice skates and we took them down to the creek in the winter and tried them out. On a patch of ice that was maybe 5 feet square and only about 3 inches thick. The creek had nearly dried up, so that’s all we had. We dodged sticks and rocks, and let me tell you, balancing on those blades is tricky.

So when I flick on the telly and see these dudes skating on the ice at 50 million miles an hour, I’m super impressed. Go, Dudes! GO!!!! It’s intense. And please, if you fall down, pull your hands in close to your body, because nobody wants to see you get your fingers sliced off. Yipe.

Last one I’m going to touch on today is figure skating. I love it. It’s so beautiful and elegant, watching them glide along with their triple jumps and their spins. And of course, the sequins. Who doesn’t love a sport where even the men get to wear glitter, sequins and spandex?! Love.

So, pop some popcorn, stoke your fire and flip on the television. It’s Winter Olympic time, and we all can use a break!

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